I never thought I'd say it, but ...

I think I'm addicted to coffee. Now, it's not out-of-control yet but I tend to get headaches around 10am if I haven't had a nice warm mug of the columbian goodness. I've never been one for coffee ...but I'm not against it either. I elluded it throughout college and subsisted on vanilla chai (caffine free) and the occastional vanilla black tea with honey. But never the java.

Now, I'm in the real working world and the fall season is upon us. Coffee has become more attractive. Very attractive ...handsome really. Okay, weird. But I can't help but say ...I'm enjoying coffee. And maybe too much.

I don't think you'll have to pull a Jesse Spano on me anytime soon, but I do occasionally think about the health and other risks involved in drinking the dark goodness. One, I put about 2 tablespoons of splenda in every cup. I think I've doubled my sugar intake. Two, I think I need to start using my Crest Whitestrips more frequently because I'm afraid of stained teeth. Gotta keep those toothers pearly white! And three, you know something's not right when it's the first thing you think of in the morning and get a headache if you don't get a fix.


Hmm, I may or may not have the beginnings of an addiction. I must keep a close monitor from now on. But until them, I can't wait to try my new Folgers Select Columbian Blend in the morning ....yummy.

....

Welcome home.

So much has happened since my last post. As you know, I spent about 2 months in Liberia working on a film documentary and go to witness the strength of human faith, love, contentment, poverty, joy and African culture. I had an amazing time to say the least and I learned a lot. I learned small things and very large concepts ...top to bottom it was exactly where I was suppose to be with people I was suppose to meet. I definitely came alive during my time there and it really wetted my appetite for such things. I'm slowly learning how God built me.

I'm reading a lot. (Choppy transition, I know. But, hey, whatever.) But seriously, I'm reading a lot. I miss learning in the traditional sense. Ohio University and Ellis hall in the fall, walking on the brick pathways in the crisp air to my religion class where I will be intellectually challenged and thinking deeply. That's what I miss: thinking deeply. So, I've decided to read. A lot. I've read approximately 6 books since June and I'm half way through my seventh. My library is growing to say the least. I have no idea where I find the time to do all this reading but I'm loving it.

Learning post college is interesting. I'm definitely a 'classroom' type person. But I'm having to improvise now that I'm out in the 'real world'. I really have a desire to learn French. After being in West Africa where French is the dominant language and flying through Brussels, I've decided I'm done with being a unilateral American. One-languaged. Only English speaking. I believe my dad thinks I'm crazy for wanting to learn French since Spanish is much more predominant throughout America, but I'm not wanting to learn a popular language for America ...I want to learn a language I can use in Africa, since I hope to go back someday. So I'm trying to decide how serious I am about this. Am I going to try and take a night class at a community college, or do I want to try my own resourcefulness and go with the audio, self-learning way. The poll is still out on that one.

Also, I've been enjoying art more lately. I FINALLY went to the Nelson-Atkins Art Museum last weekend. It was a typical 'me' day where I turn off my phone (or vibrate since I work for a newspaper and you never know) and spent the day appreciating beauty. I'm definitely a fan of the new contemporary art section. I love abstract and the crazy stuff; although, one can never forget the ancient art as well. I remember taking art lessons at the museum and having to draw some of the ancient Eygptian artwork and so I have a deep affinity for it now. Call me a sentimentalist.

Other than that, I've been watching a lot of documentaries. Since I'm involved in making one now, I want to be a student of the art. Plus, I love learning and that's what documentaries are: Artwork with a purpose. I love that. Artwork and Purpose.

So where am I now, you ask? Great question. I'm back in Midwest America, the suburbs to be exact, and working for a daily newspaper. I'm a long way from Africa. But it's been a blessing and a great time. I'm learning a lot and it has been a great experience. So if you're ever in the neightborhood, look me up.

Well, that's it for now. I'm going to pick up my current book and read a bit before I go into work for the day. And then, my guilty pleasure, Survivor starts tonight!

Until then.

Childhood Travel Excitement: Packing

I remember back in the day when my parents would take me on a vacation out to the beautiful Colorado mountains during both the summer and the winter time. I was small and young but I loved these road trips and I remember them like yesterday. Nothing like packing up and spending hours in the old Ford/Chevy van watching hours of cartoon movies and reading my adventure and Goosebump books. You know, the adventure books where you pick what happens ...to parachute of the cliff turn to page 18 or to turn back and fight the ninjas turn to page 27. Yeah, you know what I'm talking about! But the best part about the trip wasn't the actual destination of lush mountains and the promise of hiking or skiing, but rather I was excited about the actual packing and "getting there." I know, I'm strange.

As my trip to Liberia approaches and my flight leaves in 8 days, I'm in the critical stage of packing. And it has stirred up fond memories of my adolescence. I love packing. Few would agree, I'm sure, that one of the best parts of a long trip is packing. But for me, I love it. And this trip is no exception.

Not only that, but packing for this trip is exciting because it's a dream come true. I don't have to worry about what I look like really but function. Water filter, bug spray, medication, mosquito net, camera equipment and other so called "camping" gear is what I get to pack. My clothes are functional. And I'm excited to live with less. How exciting! I even (clear throat) bought a small Gerber pocket knife. (Wow, never thought I would ever type those words!)

So I thought I would invite you into where I am right now in the process of going to Liberia ...the packing stage. I hope you enjoy it as much as I.

And then I couldn't move my arm ...

Today I went to the Travel Immunization Clinic to get all the shots I need to travel to Liberia. I had gone a few weeks before to get my yellow fever shot required for obtaining my work visa and my body withstood the shot relatively well. I didn't feel any dizziness, sickness or anything other than a little soreness a few days later. So I figured I would be good this time around. If I can withstand the YF shot then bring on the barrage of other "lesser" shots! ...so I thought ...

The alarm goes off at 7am and I roll out of bed thinking I should take a shower and do something with my rat's nest of hair. One shower down, hair washed and clean clothes assembled, I gather my stuff to go to Overland Park to get my shots. Truth be told, I've been excited about getting my shots for a week now. Call it a sick sense of adventure. After I put in minimal product and lightly curled my hari (practice for when I head overseas with no hair dryer, straightener or uber product) I hit the door and began my trek. Twenty minutes later I'm walking into the business building to the first door on the rights labeled "Travel Immunization Clinic." I was on time, praise the Lord.

I step into the African-esk, small office and immediately see the nurse who will be administering my shots. I wait for her to finish up some paperwork and then step into her office. I begin to tell her what I'm doing and where I'm going and what I needed ...she listened attentively and then asked for my shot history ...."My shot history?" I asked. Shoot I don't have it. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I had a shot other than the yellow fever.

So after what seemed like an hour of calling the parents, doctor offices and embarrassment, we decided on the following: Hep A & B, Typhoid, Tetnus and Diptheria, and Polio. That's 4 shots and one pill. Sweet. As I lifted up the sleeve of my shirt, the nurse began to administer the vaccines. I recieved the Polio shot on my left tricep where I had gotten the yellow fever shot and she informed me that there would be some bruising. Great, I already know what that will feel like. Then I recieved the TD shot in the shoulder muscle of my left arm. Two down, Two to go. I then recieve the Hep A & B shot in my right arm as the nurse informed me that it would be the worst. I experienced a slow burning sensation but overall it wasn't too bad. It was over.

After shooting the breeze for a while and getting some scripts for malaria and whatnot I headed out the door. My arms didn't feel too bad except my right arm where I recieved the Hep shots felt like Torrie sucker punched me. Thanks Tor.

It has been a few hours since my shot-extravaganza and my arms feel like 100lbs each and it's hard to lift them. I can't complain though since I got the day off from work!

A Dream Come True: Africa

Patience is tough but necessary. Patience has enabled me to be a part of something I could only dream of being a part. I'm going to Africa to be a part of a story that shows the transforming power of Christ and the amazing courage of one woman. Let me say this again ...I'm going to Africa!! Now this comes on the heels of some life goals that I've set for myself. This is a list of things I would like to accomplish in my life. I believe everyone should make a list of "life-goals" and seriously strive after them. Because I believe knowing what makes you come alive and what is your passion gives you purpose.

So here's my life goal list in no particular order:

1. Be an international photojournalist
2. Teaching and coaching high school soccer
3. Publish a book
4. Start a magazine
5. Open a coffee house
6. Have a family

There it is! Clearly, my list will ebb and flow and I hope to do each and every one. I know things will be add as I fine tune what my passions are throughout my life. But it's a list I like to keep in the back of my mind because it reminds me that life can be about more than one thing.

So patience is good and passion drives a person to understanding their purpose. That's what I've learned in the past few months since graduation. Hope you enjoyed processing through my life! And remember ..I'm going to Africa!

Big, Scary, Life Decisions

So today is a big day ...Today is the day that I make a big decision.

I'm not going to lie, I had trouble sleeping all night for fear of making the wrong decision. This all comes back to my trust issues. But today I'm going to stay true to my word and trust God for the results. I'm not sure what I'm going to say but what I do know is I'm going to be honest and truthful.

The hardest part about this situation is it feels very overwhelming. And I wish I could really work through this with my family but it so tough to talk to them without feeling the obligation to do what's easy (see post below). But what I find to be the most important thing is to have no regrets, do what makes me come alive, and be honest in all situations. So that's my goal for today.

Oh, it's going to be a good but tough day.

A New Day

Hello Friends,

So many words could be used to describe my life right now ...but I'm not entirely sure where to start. My focus is kind of clouded while I type these words because so much has happened and so much has not. So I suppose I'll use a phrase one of my kind-hearted friends used to inspire me not too long ago. She said, "Do what makes you come alive." It's a quote from one of her favorite books, "Wild at Heart."

I tend to agree with her.

See, my life right now is in the search of finding what makes me come alive. Now, I'm not talking about the "BIG" question of what makes me come alive because, praise God, I have found the answer to that question. Rather, I'm talking about the smaller question, the focus of the bigger question if you will. I believe there is something specifically designed for me to do in every stage of my life. Call it a vocation. And I'm in the search of finding the 'vocation' that God has planned for me right now.

So what DOES make me come alive? ...I take a look at my options and my heart has a resounding answer. Yet, there seems to be so many road-blocks in the way of actually taking action. There are fears. There are risks. And who knows what else. But the one thing I'm confident of is that it IS my passion. And passion, ladies and gentlemen, is the greatest gift of God in my book. Without passion you have no purpose. Without passion you have no direction. Without passion life becomes mundane, mediocre and routine. I want nothing to do with those things. Though the hardest part is actually taking the risk as opposed to taking the easy. Unfortunately the easy will lead to the mundane and the risk, though scary, leads to what makes you come alive.

So my challenge to myself is to learn to let go and trust. I have a serious trust issue. I need and want to believe and that's where I am right now. I'm making a decision to believe.

I know this is very obscure and random, probably not making and sense what so ever. BUT, I'm typing anyway. Call it my therapy. So there she be.