New Beginnings

Evolution.

It happens to the best of us. No, I'm not talking about Darwin. I'm talking about the evolution of the self. I've been evolving this past year and throughout my whole entire life. My direction in life evolves ...my desire, aspirations and goals as well. I love life because it's so crazy - unpredictable. You're never going to stay the same person as you were the last minute. You're constantly changing.

I'm excited about this new year. And I've decided not to make a new year's resolution. What's the point really? Why wish and plan out everything and not just do it. That's all a new year's resolution is ...procrastination of what you desire by just naming it. This year I'm going to be a "Do'er" , that's right my friends a "Do'er". I want to simplify my life. Everything around me I want to simplify. I want to take more time for myself this coming quarter. I also want to pour into other's lives more. I miss that. Worry will have nothing to do with me this quarter. I want to be involved but also not. I have lots of plans this quarter that I'm excited about but I don't want anything to become like a job to me. So, I'm going to simplify.

The drive back to Ohio will be golden. I love and miss my life there. I miss my friends and what I know to be familiar. I was thinking about this the other day ...What will life be like outside of college, you know, when I'm done. Soon college will be a distant memory like high school. I hate the pressure of being a "grown up" right when I get out of college. Why can't I experience life to the fullest once the strings and commitments of school fade away? That's what I want to know. Then I'll reflect back to my time in school and remember the good'ol days...well, I refuse for my college years to be my only good'ol days. I'm going to carry life with me, but I'm not going to do it on my own. I pray that I can have the boldness and the faith to keep my eyes upward as I move on in my life. Taking time out to remember and grow in my faith. That's evolution :: Change with a purpose.

Add a little essence and ...BAM!

Wow, who would've thought that living with two girls who love to cook and watch WAY TOO MUCH Food network would rub off on me a year later. I actually found myself staying up before bedtime last night so I could see how Emeril's NY Strip steak turned out. What the...wow, that's all I have to say. And who would've thought that screaming BAM at random times during the day around random people could be such a hoot too. Honestly, you should try it out...I think it's good for the soul.

On another note, I'm trying to come to grips with the fact that I'm going to have to leave for school soon. Less than two weeks to be exact. Wow, time flies. I'm actually looking forward to the drive back to Athens, OH. I'm planning on listening to a book on tape and that excites me. It's a good 13hrs. by myself and time that I can just enjoy. You know, us crazy only children. Anywho, I'm sort of looking forward to this coming winter quarter. I'm not taking any VICO classes and, trust me, that's a relief. I'm taking roughly 15 credit hours or 4 classes. Should be fun. On top of that I have soccer 3 times a week, and I'm going to be playing on an intramural bball team. WHO DEY! Throw in some Athlete's In Action time including a new book study, the AIA conference and spending time with the awesome girls, as well as, Cru Action Group and 180 meetings. I also hope to start an offical Bible Study on the soccer team as well. Also, we better get some darn snow so me and my girls can go sledding out at Stroud's Run at midnight and pee our pants again. Plus, I want to have some quality time with my friends and with literature. I enjoy a good book nowadays. So there is a lot on my plate but I'm not feeling overwhelmed. At least not yet. I may have to cut back on some things and make time, manage time and shift time for others but I think it'll work. God willing.

Speaking of God. I recently picked up a new good book by Kathleen Norris. It's called, "Amazing Grace: The Vocabulary of Faith." So interesting. She talks about her own development in her faith and how she has come to define some Christian terms or words commonly seen as "scary", turn off'ish or just plain hard to understand. It's such an interesting book. I highly recommend it.

Anyways, there's lots to do and so little time. So add a little essence and BAM!

Out of Shape Beyba!

Picture this:

It's 11am in the morning and I just rolled out of bed. The brief thought of going to the YMCA crossed through my mind...but it didn't stay too long. I thought, "Man, I need to get me act together and really start working out." I knew I didn't want to lift. I didn't want to swim because the water was too cold last time. And I knew I didn't want to drive the whole 15 minute to get there. Laziness set in. Then, like a light turning on, I decided I was going to go for a run around the neighborhood. "Yeah, I need to run...it's been a good, what, month and a half. I think my body has rested enough." So I gather my black stretch pants, under armour, head-band, gloves and a smile on my face. "Here we go," I thought. I walked out to the kitchen in my house and opened up the fridge. I grabbed a water bottle, twisted open the cap and chugged down the sweet, refreshing water to wake up my body. I grabbed a piece of toast and talked to my mother for a quick minute then I was out the door. Surprisingly, the weather was really nice. Here I was ready for the artic tundra and I step into the tropics. Hmm, whatever. I shed a few layers but I was still to hot but I decided to just deal with it. (If anyone knows me really well, being hot is not my idea of fun.) So I decided to run to the boat docks and back and a fairly good pace. I ran up and down huge hills and realized,"Wow, I'm more out of shape than I thought, that sucks."

So the moral of the story is: I'm out of shape...or at least not in as good of shape as I was. I guess swimming just isn't a good replacement for running. Lifting and yoga definitely aren't a cardio workout but hey, I need the rest. So I'm starting to begin my journey back to all that there is "in shape". Here we go. Won't you join me.

Mind-tied, not to be confused with tongue-tied ...

So Christmas is approaching wicked fast. That means school is approaching way too soon for my taste. I do miss some of my peeps back at school, not gonna lie. Life here in KC is pretty easy. I'm planning on going up to my high school tomorrow...hopefully we'll be able to get in since security is always tight, haha. But seriously. It's funny because the more time I spend with people, whether it be friends or family, the more I feel like I've been away from home for SO LONG. Let's see if I can explain this one...

You know how when you're with a group of old friends and you're all trying to catch up on eachother's life?...well, I was in that situation over Thanksgiving but no one really asked about me because they all prolly figured that it was just too much to catch up on. And that got me thinking...

It's hard for me to REALLY "catch up" with anyone because no one really knows any of the people or place that I talk about. None of my friends from home have visited me at school...so in essence, no one would really grasp how funny one memory might be or how cool one situation was...they just wouldn't get it because they wouldn't have anything to picture in their minds...

Also, this past weekend I was able to talk to an old friend. (One of the first people who actually wanted to look through my picture albums from the summer and past quarter and actually make an effort to know what was going on in my life, it was nice). Sometimes I feel as though I put in all the effort. Anyways, the strangeness of some situations that happened this summer never really hit me until I talked to my friend that experienced them. Namely, a wedding happened with someone very close to my heart - and when I found out about this wedding I was primarily wierded out about it but didn't really think much of it...then, after actually hearing details...I actually felt things, emotions if you will. It wasn't so distant anymore. I guess "catching up" can be a good and a bad thing. Ha.

Anyways, sometimes I get the feeling from people that they're actually mad at me for being away from my family for so long. I can't really explain that one...but you know the look that you get from people of "you're such a bad offspring for not being home for 10 months"...i don't know, but sometimes i feel like i get that one from people.

It's sad though because my two worlds don't mesh or colide...they're so different - Ohio and Missouri. I guess if you could bottle all of this up as feelings and emotions then you might understand my time here. Home is good. Very good, in fact. But there is still an air of strangeness...of time passed that I wasn't "in" on. Memories passed here that I can't share in on because I wasn't...and memories I have that no one really cares to know. Kinda sad really. That's the nature of life I suppose.

Interesting what comes out of your mind this late at night. I guess I'm mind-tied, not to be confused with tongue-tied....Until next time.

Facebook fo'rizzle!

In the wise words of one of my dear friends, facebook is "fo'rizzle". It's this new thing I discovered that once you started it...you're hooked. Yes folks, it's this web community where you can search for anyone and everyone that's on it. And trust me, everyone is on it. I can get in contact with people from my HS, peeps from OH as well as anyone else! It's crazy. I don't quite understand all the "in's and out's" but I'm definitely a member now. Pretty cool. So if you're wanting that "something" to get you hooked to your friendly computer screen...facebook.com is it.

Winter Wonder...break!

Goodness Gracious! It has definitely been way too long since I've typed the thoughts in my head! So here we go again...here I am to tell you what I think:

Kansas City is beautiful. It never gets old to me how much I love where I'm from. Today there was the most amazing sunset. The sky went from a deep blue to a deep purple then bright, brillant pink and finally a golden yellow. It was breathtaking.

Christmas is around the corner. I'm finally rounding up the troops and starting to get the shopping done. I love giving during Christmas but it's definitely good to stay focused on the original reason for the holidays.

Chiropractics is a strange medical practice. Yes, I'm currently going to the chiropractor and I'm not gonna lie, yes, I did almost faint from "being weirded out" by the scary back-popping chair and the x-rays of my entire skeletal system. Wow, what a crazy place. I'm finally getting relaxed enough to act cool while I'm there and not cry or be tensed up like I normally am. But, the neck is the worst. It makes the worst sound in the whole entire world. Props for all of you who can pop your neck on command because I am one girl who HATES the popping of the neck. Ha.

Anywho, I was able to talk to two awesome people today. First, my fellow alumni and discipler, Rachel Sanders. It was brief but wonderful. Also, my summer project discipler, Megan Parmelee. Another awesome woman of God. Much love to both of them.
It's fun to watch and see where God takes you in life.

Finally, I'm enjoying everything about home. I had a dear friend of mine visit me last weekend...I was able to share with her a piece of my Kansas City - and we all know that it's super fun to show someone you know your home. Also, I'm planning on going up to see some friends up at NWMS. Super excited because I've never been up there and I haven't seen some of these peeps in a long time! AKA HIGH SCHOOL. Sweet man.

Alright, that's it for now. I miss all of you in Ohio - I got a role developed from the weekend before we left and it made me miss all of you so much....but not so much that I would want to go back...sorry, lov'in my life right now!

PEACE.